"Those who can't do teach..."

Please, fellow instructors, understand the toungue-in-cheek intent in that statement (I just find that I am happiest when I refuse to take myself too @#$% seriously and choose, rather, to experience, exemplify, and motivate behaviors that optimize effectiveness and joy). Having said that, I am laughing at myself because my last few posts were about the importance of keeping up regular blog posts, and here I am, 6 months beyond my most recent post, finally with a new addition. A somewhat obligatory one, since I am now, for the first time, leading (and following) the blogs of about 16 students, and requiring regular posts from them! Do as I say, not as I do, apparently, is the message being transmitted from my end. Funny. ; )

Rule #2 You never know who's watching . . .

Rule #2: In a similar vein to the advice that one should "dance like nobody's watching," we should blog as if everybody is. My reflections on blogging of late have led me to believe that, even if we "know" our blogs have little or no traffic, we need to keep them up with recent and quality content because one never knows who might do a "drive-by" viewing of our posts.

Of course, that is easier said than done. A part of me rebels and says, "They (whoever they might be)"should just be happy I am blogging at all."

Now, the logical part of my brain says the following:
a) there is no "they."
b) I must be pretty arrogant to think anyone should feel privileged to read what I write ; ) Or that anyone is really going to care one way or another whether I add to the overload of information available on the information super highway. I am lucky to have a place to collect my thoughts into writings, and to polish my skills. I am doubly lucky to get to see my work in the format the blog creates, helping me to visulize my dreams of having my non-academic work published. I am luckier, still. if I have a reader or two consider my thoughts, and perhaps even respond with some thoughts of their own.
c) I can discuss rules 'til I'm blue in the face. I'm probably still only gonna blog when I feel like it ; ) Or, actually, when I do not have numerous much greater priorities. Unbelievably, I have convinced myself that now is such a time (LOL--that's a good one!)

I suppose I'd better re-enter the reality that there is a 3-year-old boy in his Bob-the-Builder underpants crashing into my right ear, begging for me to take a picture of his hands and feet and imploring me for a hug. That reality is pretty great, I have to admit. I'll blog again sometime.

Karla

If you're gonna blog, blog!

Sometimes I just have to laugh at myself. I was recently criticized due to the fact that I do not update my blog often enough. Ironic that being a communication professional (and professor) in a blog on communication, this thought had never occurred to me. The criticism is a valid one. Ahhh, technology. The rules about communication are continually shifting and changing with the same velocity as the technology, itself.

In honor of my kind critic, I am creating a list of the "New Rules" of communication, for myself, as much as for anyone else. Any suggestions for this list can be sent to me at kahunter@dwu.edu by May 1st, and I will consider them for posting here.

Rule #1: If you're gonna blog, blog!

Thanks!
(At least now I have a recent post ; )
Karla

4 Tips for Overcoming Fear of Public Speaking

Re-Post of Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Fear of Public Speaking?

My students and I have been talking a great deal lately about the fear of public speaking. I have read that many people fear it more than snakes, airplanes, or even "Snakes on a Plane!" Having taught Public Speaking for over 16 years myself, I can honestly say that I still get some of what I choose to call "nervous energy" before I speak. Luckily for me, nothing cements information into one's mind like teaching it! So I have an entire box of tools to share regarding overcoming one's fears in this and other areas. I look forward to sharing those tools via this blog. As a "weekend" Communication Consultant, I thoroughly enjoy giving academic and private-sector workshops on "Overcoming CA (Communication Apprehension)," and "Building Self Esteem," as well as motivational speeches like "Empowerment Through Service." Some of the best experience I have to share with a nervous speaker?

1) Water the roots, not the lemons.
OK, what the heck does that mean? If you have a lemon tree, and your lemons are drying out, do you water the lemons? Of course not. Well, self-confidence is much the same--your greatest benefit will be obtained from nurturing the root of your self-esteeem, rather than trying to focus so much on confidence in public speaking. I recommend my students start with something like shaking hands with every new person they meet. No "dead fish," and no "knuckle-busters." A firm, but loose grip is best. I also recommend smiling--with the teeth showing. It is amazing how smiling actually improves one's attitude and confidence. Don't believe me? Check out the evolutionary concept of intermodal matching. It says that, as infants, we learn which facial expressions accompany different emotions by mimicking the expressions given by our caregivers, and then examining how those expressions make us feel! Of course, biofeedback evidence abounds for the fact that endorphins are released when we smile. Actually, other endorphin releasing activities can also boost one's confidence, by lifting overall mood (small amounts of dark chocolate and regular exercise can do wonders!)I also charge my students with the challenge to avoid all negative self-talk. Americans are addicted to being right, and can you guess the easiest way to ensure one's being right? Predicting one's own failure. Why? Because we can make ourselves fail. Have you ever said something like, "I hate public speaking," "I am so afraid," or "I'm not good at that"? Take a risk. Predict success. Or at least stop predicting failure. You may have a different audience each time you say something negative against yourself or your performance, but one person hears it every time. You. Consider correcting yourself when you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk. Stop yourself, and say something like, "Actually, I have historically thought that was true, but I read this awesome blog that has really opened my eyes" . . . = )

2) The second piece of experience that has helped my charges the most? Focus on Service.
If I am thinking about you, I cannot be thinking about me. Topic choice? Focus on what will help the audience. Sources? What will most benefit the audience? Attention-getter? What will hook this particular audience? A powerful piece of advice from sage public speaking textbook author Stephen Beebe says, "Let the audience write the speech." Of course, wouldn't it be nice if he meant that literally? What he means, of course, is that every element of the speech is optimized by a focus on the audience. Holding these thoughts can help the nervous speaker harness his or her fear and channel it into energy. These thoughts, then, can supplant the old ways of thinking like, "I hope I don't burp after drinking that Dr. Pepper," "I am so nervous!" "Is my fly open?" or the ever-popular, "Does this speech make my butt look big?"

3) Learn more about the normalcy of the fear of public speaking, and about its very normal origins that have led to some very misunderstood physical reactions.
As stated earlier, public speaking is often considered the #1 fear in American society. Could hearing that statistic actually tell us to be afraid? What if the statistic said that public speaking was America's favorite pass-time, and that baseball was our #1 fear? Ever hear of the nocebo effect? Turns out that cancer patients who are told they are given chemo, but are actually given placebo-chemo, will lose their hair as if they were administered the real thing. There is at least one documented case of a man who died from cancer that he did not have (according to Discovery Channel special, "The Placebo Effect"). Fascinating. Brings a whole new light to the statement that, "The only thing we have to fear is fear, itself." I use a statistical instrument called the PRPSA (Personal Report of Public Speaking Anxiety--the 34-item test and its scoring method can be found via google, in case you are interested) to test the beginning (time 1), middle (time 2) and ending (time 3) levels of Communication Apprehension in my speech students. Many are surprised at their dramatic drop in score from time 2 to time 3. Last semester, I had one student drop over 30 points on this 136-point measure! Guess why her jump was so impressive. Because an indepth analysis of her questionairre showed that the items she scored high on were all of the items about anticipating giving a speech, rather than those assessing nervousness during or after a speech. In other words, she was afraid of being afraid.

In class, we also focus a great deal on the evolutionary view of this type of fear. You may be saying, "Oh great, a Darwinist. I suppose she has one of those skeletal plastic fish with the legs on it on the back of her car." Well I can promise you that, as one who attempts to hold a truly open mind, I fail to see how evolutionism and creationism are mutually exclusive. That may mean I am in both camps, or it may mean I am in neither. If this bothers you, I hope you will consider keeping the baby and throwing out only the bathwater. (I teach at a Christian University, so I give this disclaimer often. Can you tell?). Having said that . . .Picture cavepeople. Not those dressed up Geico guys, but actual non-speaking, no locks on the doors, saber-tooth-tiger-outside-the-cave-type cavepeople. Their fears are of physical dangers. Someone or something might steal their food or harm them or their loved ones. Their options to escape these dangers when they arise? Fight or flee (hence the popularly touted, little fully discussed "fight or flight response."). Their bodies react to make them stronger, more attentive and faster. Eyes widen in surprise: this allows them to take in more of the scene. Extremities shake and they may sweat, because both blood and adrenaline are pumping to all the right places to help them run or hit, as needed. These are wonderful built-in defense mechanisms. And by fighting or fleeing the source of danger, we "burn off" the adrenaline and other built-up physical responses to fear.The problem is that our bodies have carried with them down through the ages this stone-age computer program, and no one has deleted it from our collective (sub)consciousness. Therefore, today, when we are afriad, even though our fears may be social (e.g., your boss asks you to speak about what you learned at last week's conference. At the weekly business meeting. In front of 12 people. In 5 minutes.). Your eyes widen, your cardiovascular system and adrenal glands begin working overtime. You may perspire. Well, you can't punch your boss in the face and run out of the room. Not if you wish to maintain employment, that is. So what do you do.? You work on reprogramming. Channel that energy, and remember to call it "energy." It is there to serve you, not to harm you. Use it to be enthusiastic and engaging. Gesture, and use disciplined movement and visual aids to "burn up" some of that energy.

4) And finally, forget that old advice about looking over people's heads.
Look us in the eye. And I do mean "eye." Looking in both eyes at once can feel awkward, so pick an eye, any eye. I promise, no one can tell. Try it. The awesome thing about giving eye contact is that it can act as a magnet, attracting the eyes (and hence, a greater level of attention from) your audience. You can feel when someone is looking at you. Try it. Look at a random stranger in the mall. She or he will turn and "catch" you pretty quickly. Any further actions on your part are your responsibility not mine--look away, or go introduce yourself. That's up to you.

Well, folks, there you have it, in a nutshell. My $.02 about the fear of speaking in public, and my experience about what has helped me and hundreds of frightened students to overcome and harness their fears. I actually do have one more piece of advice: Speak!!! In the communication field, we call it "systematic desensitization." It means that the more you speak in public, the less sensitive to it you become. Start small. And from the heart. All the rest can fall into place.
Karla

Different Contact Email

It appears that my email address at gmail is giving me trouble. Please address any correspondence to kahunter@dwu.edu, instead. Thank you.
Karla

Gorgeous Gorgias

Obtaining and Retaining Audience Attention
Plato’s text entitled Gorgias lampooned an ancient Greek rhetor/philosoher by that name(pronounced “Gorgeous,” although no one alive today knows whether or not he actually was). Plato's reprimand was for Gorgias' apparently superficial view of public speaking. You see, Gorgias has oft been credited with having said that the three most important aspects of rhetoric are “delivery, delivery and delivery.”

Public speaking instructors, myself included, beg to differ. It is not advisable to rely on your ability to “baffle with your bull@#$%,” or rely on your "gift of gab." Having said that, we can all think of scenarios in which we, as audience members, were lulled to sleep by speakers whose messages likely deserved a fair hearing. So what happened? What follows are some possible explanations, and some solutions regarding what we as speakers and as listeners can do to increase the chances that our messages will be heard. And guess what. A number of them rely upon "delivery, delivery, and delivery."

More About Public Speaking and Nonverbal Communication
This brings us back to our friend Gorgias. Presumably, it is our hope that our audience members will select to pay attention to our speeches and to recall the basic information, therein. Therefore, it is necessary that we attend to some basics of effective speech delivery in addition to those already covered in previous posts. This and upcoming posts will focus on some rules to assist the novice speaker in practicing and habituating effective delivery skills.

Rule #1: Avoid unnecessarily distracting your audience
Problem: Verbal Filler (“uh, uh, like, you know, ummmmmm”).
Solution: Silence. Really. Habituate forcing yourself to pause when you are tempted to use verbal fillers of this type. Give yourself time to think of the next right word or phrase choice. I promise you, the delay will generally feel longer to you than it will to your audience. Besides, if you have practiced at least three times (once in your mind, once aloud alone, and once aloud with at least one audience member), you may even know in advance where your trouble spots tend to be. If this is the case, you can write suggested wording in the margins of your Performance Outline. Take a breath. Say a prayer. Recite a mantra in your mind. Or bypass it by accessing the same information via a different choice of words: “let me describe what I am talking about. . . .”

Not surprisingly, a major cause of verbal filler/stumbling is fear. Many people are afraid of stumbling, which, of course, contributes greatly to the likelihood that they will, indeed, stumble. To ward off fear of forgetting precise source citation information and statistical or definitional detail, I always recommend, as public speaking textbook author Lori Haleta suggests, using a separate notecard from the Performance Outline for such materials.

And if you catch yourself using a few verbal fillers, try to avoid calling attention to them. Forgive yourself and move on. Why? Two reasons: 1) As an old deodorant commercial charged us to do, we must, "Never let 'em see (us) sweat" . . . at least about sweating. and 2) Showing fear is not public speaking "suicide," as some may believe it is.

Never let 'em see you sweat?
You may have heard the sage advice to "Fake it 'til you make it." This means that you walk through the prescribed motions of creating and delivering a successful public speech whether you believe or have, as yet, experienced, their ability to lead you to success. This idea of walking through one's fear reminds me of the cover story of this month's issue of Time magazine. The article cites eight lessons we can learn from Nelson Mandela's leadership, the first of which is that "Courage is not the absence of fear--it's inspiring others to move beyond it." Beautifully put. The article goes on to quote Mandela as having told his biographer, "'Of course I was afraid' . . . but as a leader, you cannot let people know. 'You must put on a front."

In the realm of public speaking, this means no "fishing for sympathy," (one of my worst pet peeves as a public speaking instructor) by telling your audience, "I am really scared," or worse, "I'm not very prepared for this, but . . ."

Visible fear is not the end of the world
I tell my students: a) Most people are really self centerd. If you do not point out your fears or your mistakes, they are highly unlikely to notice, and b) If you keep working forward into the speech, your nervousness may diminish, and c) Fear of fear is unfounded. If audience members do notice your fear, there are ways that it can actually work in your favor. On the flip side of the "No Fear" strategy is an interesting communication theory twist on how visible fears might help the audience identify with the speaker, leading them to have greater liking for him or her. You see, in order to obtain credibility, we do not always need to put on a mask of omnipotence with our audiences, never apologizing or appearing weak. Yes, in my experience, it is absolutely true that we are most effective when we refuse to "lead with the chin," calling attention to our deficits! Having said that, no one will be more sympathetic/empathetic with a fearful speaker than an audience full of them!

Channel Effects--"The Other Nonverbal"

Information Overload and Selectivity Theory
We are exposed to more persuasive messages in a single year than members of our grandparents’ generation saw or heard in their entire lifetimes. For this reason, it is not only probable, but absolutely necessary that each of us is both consciously and unconsciously selective about the communication to which we pay attention, much less that which we recall. Communication scholarship calls this idea “Selectivity,” dubbing its various components as “Selective Attention,” “Selective Perception” and “Selective Retention.” In other words, we only pay attention to some of the barrage of stimuli with which we are presented on a daily basis. Do you recall the advertisements on the last webpage you viewed? The words on the last t-shirt or ballcap you saw? What your mother said on the telephone last night? If not, this information was not “selected” as important. What about the speeches from your high school speech class? Do you recall the topics, much less the specific content? Surely, you may say, I am not supposed to actually remember that stuff, right? Well, assuming that you are correct, then what is the purpose of public speaking as a form of communication? Why don’t we just email everything?
Good question. I’m glad you asked. Why don’t we just text or IM? Ever get a "Dear John" via voicemail? Or an email letting you know of someone's death? What do you think about Radio Shack’s recent use of email to lay off 400 employees? http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D8JQV30O1&show_article=1

The channel or medium of communication we choose provides yet another confirmation that "You cannot not communicate." Consider the pros and cons of various media for different types of messages, and you may find that you, too, have been guilty of appearing overly cavalier in your channel choice. Communication scholar Marshall McLuhan said, “The medium is the message.” This means that the invention of each new form of communication technology--from the Guttenberg Galaxy to the telegraph, telephone, radio, TV, and the internet--has drastically altered the communication of the era, and everyone thereafter. In the modern workplace, and in the halls of the academy, cell phones, blackberries, power point presentations, ipods, laptops equipped with wireless internet, text messages and emails overwhelm the airwaves, communicating with previously undreamed of frequency and speed. But the question is, just because we have this new technology, does that mean we should always use it?
Are we guilty of using technology for technologies’ sake, oblivious to the messages our channel choices send about us and our relationships with those to whom we send them? Like Napolean Dynamite’s borther Kip, “I still love technology.” I just know the power of a face-to-face conversation and a firm handshake, a paper thank you note with a snail-mail stamp on it, and a good old-fashioned speech that relies on something deeper than a bunch of colorful slides. I have also witnessed and experienced the dark side of technology as a communication modality, sending embarrassing emails to unintended recipients, and showing power point slides with credibility-crushing misspellings.
Some people will tell you, “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.” Yes and no. The heart of McLuhan’s message is that what you say is sometimes in how you say it. An old Hallmark card commercial used to say, “When you care enough to send the very best.” Do I communicate much caring when I email rather than walking 10 paces to a colleague’s office door? Or when I have to look up my Mom’s telephone number on my cell phone? Technology is fun. It’s sexy. Let’s just keep sight of eachother. Effective leaders know that interoffice emails cannot communicate nonverbal information, and emoticons are no substitute for genuine emotional connection.