Communication re: Communication

"Those who can't do teach..."

2010-02-11T12:48:00.000-08:00

Please, fellow instructors, understand the toungue-in-cheek intent in that statement (I just find that I am happiest when I refuse to take myself too @#$% seriously and choose, rather, to experience, exemplify, and motivate behaviors that optimize effectiveness and joy). Having said that, I am laughing at myself because my last few posts were about the importance of keeping up regular blog posts, and here I am, 6 months beyond my most recent post, finally with a new addition. A somewhat obligatory one, since I am now, for the first time, leading (and following) the blogs of about 16 students, and requiring regular posts from them! Do as I say, not as I do, apparently, is the message being transmitted from my end. Funny. ; )

Rule #2 You never know who's watching . . .

2009-06-30T12:28:00.000-07:00

Rule #2: In a similar vein to the advice that one should "dance like nobody's watching," we should blog as if everybody is. My reflections on blogging of late have led me to believe that, even if we "know" our blogs have little or no traffic, we need to keep them up with recent and quality content because one never knows who might do a "drive-by" viewing of our posts.

Of course, that is easier said than done. A part of me rebels and says, "They (whoever they might be)"should just be happy I am blogging at all."

Now, the logical part of my brain says the following:
a) there is no "they."
b) I must be pretty arrogant to think anyone should feel privileged to read what I write ; ) Or that anyone is really going to care one way or another whether I add to the overload of information available on the information super highway. I am lucky to have a place to collect my thoughts into writings, and to polish my skills. I am doubly lucky to get to see my work in the format the blog creates, helping me to visulize my dreams of having my non-academic work published. I am luckier, still. if I have a reader or two consider my thoughts, and perhaps even respond with some thoughts of their own.
c) I can discuss rules 'til I'm blue in the face. I'm probably still only gonna blog when I feel like it ; ) Or, actually, when I do not have numerous much greater priorities. Unbelievably, I have convinced myself that now is such a time (LOL--that's a good one!)

I suppose I'd better re-enter the reality that there is a 3-year-old boy in his Bob-the-Builder underpants crashing into my right ear, begging for me to take a picture of his hands and feet and imploring me for a hug. That reality is pretty great, I have to admit. I'll blog again sometime.

Karla

If you're gonna blog, blog!

2009-04-07T09:52:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I just have to laugh at myself. I was recently criticized due to the fact that I do not update my blog often enough. Ironic that being a communication professional (and professor) in a blog on communication, this thought had never occurred to me. The criticism is a valid one. Ahhh, technology. The rules about communication are continually shifting and changing with the same velocity as the technology, itself.

In honor of my kind critic, I am creating a list of the "New Rules" of communication, for myself, as much as for anyone else. Any suggestions for this list can be sent to me at kahunter@dwu.edu by May 1st, and I will consider them for posting here.

Rule #1: If you're gonna blog, blog!

Thanks!
(At least now I have a recent post ; )
Karla

4 Tips for Overcoming Fear of Public Speaking

2008-10-16T07:26:00.000-07:00

Re-Post of Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Fear of Public Speaking?

My students and I have been talking a great deal lately about the fear of public speaking. I have read that many people fear it more than snakes, airplanes, or even "Snakes on a Plane!" Having taught Public Speaking for over 16 years myself, I can honestly say that I still get some of what I choose to call "nervous energy" before I speak. Luckily for me, nothing cements information into one's mind like teaching it! So I have an entire box of tools to share regarding overcoming one's fears in this and other areas. I look forward to sharing those tools via this blog. As a "weekend" Communication Consultant, I thoroughly enjoy giving academic and private-sector workshops on "Overcoming CA (Communication Apprehension)," and "Building Self Esteem," as well as motivational speeches like "Empowerment Through Service." Some of the best experience I have to share with a nervous speaker?

1) Water the roots, not the lemons.
OK, what the heck does that mean? If you have a lemon tree, and your lemons are drying out, do you water the lemons? Of course not. Well, self-confidence is much the same--your greatest benefit will be obtained from nurturing the root of your self-esteeem, rather than trying to focus so much on confidence in public speaking. I recommend my students start with something like shaking hands with every new person they meet. No "dead fish," and no "knuckle-busters." A firm, but loose grip is best. I also recommend smiling--with the teeth showing. It is amazing how smiling actually improves one's attitude and confidence. Don't believe me? Check out the evolutionary concept of intermodal matching. It says that, as infants, we learn which facial expressions accompany different emotions by mimicking the expressions given by our caregivers, and then examining how those expressions make us feel! Of course, biofeedback evidence abounds for the fact that endorphins are released when we smile. Actually, other endorphin releasing activities can also boost one's confidence, by lifting overall mood (small amounts of dark chocolate and regular exercise can do wonders!)I also charge my students with the challenge to avoid all negative self-talk. Americans are addicted to being right, and can you guess the easiest way to ensure one's being right? Predicting one's own failure. Why? Because we can make ourselves fail. Have you ever said something like, "I hate public speaking," "I am so afraid," or "I'm not good at that"? Take a risk. Predict success. Or at least stop predicting failure. You may have a different audience each time you say something negative against yourself or your performance, but one person hears it every time. You. Consider correcting yourself when you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk. Stop yourself, and say something like, "Actually, I have historically thought that was true, but I read this awesome blog that has really opened my eyes" . . . = )

2) The second piece of experience that has helped my charges the most? Focus on Service.
If I am thinking about you, I cannot be thinking about me. Topic choice? Focus on what will help the audience. Sources? What will most benefit the audience? Attention-getter? What will hook this particular audience? A powerful piece of advice from sage public speaking textbook author Stephen Beebe says, "Let the audience write the speech." Of course, wouldn't it be nice if he meant that literally? What he means, of course, is that every element of the speech is optimized by a focus on the audience. Holding these thoughts can help the nervous speaker harness his or her fear and channel it into energy. These thoughts, then, can supplant the old ways of thinking like, "I hope I don't burp after drinking that Dr. Pepper," "I am so nervous!" "Is my fly open?" or the ever-popular, "Does this speech make my butt look big?"

3) Learn more about the normalcy of the fear of public speaking, and about its very normal origins that have led to some very misunderstood physical reactions.
As stated earlier, public speaking is often considered the #1 fear in American society. Could hearing that statistic actually tell us to be afraid? What if the statistic said that public speaking was America's favorite pass-time, and that baseball was our #1 fear? Ever hear of the nocebo effect? Turns out that cancer patients who are told they are given chemo, but are actually given placebo-chemo, will lose their hair as if they were administered the real thing. There is at least one documented case of a man who died from cancer that he did not have (according to Discovery Channel special, "The Placebo Effect"). Fascinating. Brings a whole new light to the statement that, "The only thing we have to fear is fear, itself." I use a statistical instrument called the PRPSA (Personal Report of Public Speaking Anxiety--the 34-item test and its scoring method can be found via google, in case you are interested) to test the beginning (time 1), middle (time 2) and ending (time 3) levels of Communication Apprehension in my speech students. Many are surprised at their dramatic drop in score from time 2 to time 3. Last semester, I had one student drop over 30 points on this 136-point measure! Guess why her jump was so impressive. Because an indepth analysis of her questionairre showed that the items she scored high on were all of the items about anticipating giving a speech, rather than those assessing nervousness during or after a speech. In other words, she was afraid of being afraid.

In class, we also focus a great deal on the evolutionary view of this type of fear. You may be saying, "Oh great, a Darwinist. I suppose she has one of those skeletal plastic fish with the legs on it on the back of her car." Well I can promise you that, as one who attempts to hold a truly open mind, I fail to see how evolutionism and creationism are mutually exclusive. That may mean I am in both camps, or it may mean I am in neither. If this bothers you, I hope you will consider keeping the baby and throwing out only the bathwater. (I teach at a Christian University, so I give this disclaimer often. Can you tell?). Having said that . . .Picture cavepeople. Not those dressed up Geico guys, but actual non-speaking, no locks on the doors, saber-tooth-tiger-outside-the-cave-type cavepeople. Their fears are of physical dangers. Someone or something might steal their food or harm them or their loved ones. Their options to escape these dangers when they arise? Fight or flee (hence the popularly touted, little fully discussed "fight or flight response."). Their bodies react to make them stronger, more attentive and faster. Eyes widen in surprise: this allows them to take in more of the scene. Extremities shake and they may sweat, because both blood and adrenaline are pumping to all the right places to help them run or hit, as needed. These are wonderful built-in defense mechanisms. And by fighting or fleeing the source of danger, we "burn off" the adrenaline and other built-up physical responses to fear.The problem is that our bodies have carried with them down through the ages this stone-age computer program, and no one has deleted it from our collective (sub)consciousness. Therefore, today, when we are afriad, even though our fears may be social (e.g., your boss asks you to speak about what you learned at last week's conference. At the weekly business meeting. In front of 12 people. In 5 minutes.). Your eyes widen, your cardiovascular system and adrenal glands begin working overtime. You may perspire. Well, you can't punch your boss in the face and run out of the room. Not if you wish to maintain employment, that is. So what do you do.? You work on reprogramming. Channel that energy, and remember to call it "energy." It is there to serve you, not to harm you. Use it to be enthusiastic and engaging. Gesture, and use disciplined movement and visual aids to "burn up" some of that energy.

4) And finally, forget that old advice about looking over people's heads.
Look us in the eye. And I do mean "eye." Looking in both eyes at once can feel awkward, so pick an eye, any eye. I promise, no one can tell. Try it. The awesome thing about giving eye contact is that it can act as a magnet, attracting the eyes (and hence, a greater level of attention from) your audience. You can feel when someone is looking at you. Try it. Look at a random stranger in the mall. She or he will turn and "catch" you pretty quickly. Any further actions on your part are your responsibility not mine--look away, or go introduce yourself. That's up to you.

Well, folks, there you have it, in a nutshell. My $.02 about the fear of speaking in public, and my experience about what has helped me and hundreds of frightened students to overcome and harness their fears. I actually do have one more piece of advice: Speak!!! In the communication field, we call it "systematic desensitization." It means that the more you speak in public, the less sensitive to it you become. Start small. And from the heart. All the rest can fall into place.
Karla

Different Contact Email

2008-07-16T07:47:00.000-07:00

It appears that my email address at gmail is giving me trouble. Please address any correspondence to kahunter@dwu.edu, instead. Thank you.
Karla

Gorgeous Gorgias

2008-07-09T09:25:00.000-07:00

Obtaining and Retaining Audience Attention
Plato’s text entitled Gorgias lampooned an ancient Greek rhetor/philosoher by that name(pronounced “Gorgeous,” although no one alive today knows whether or not he actually was). Plato's reprimand was for Gorgias' apparently superficial view of public speaking. You see, Gorgias has oft been credited with having said that the three most important aspects of rhetoric are “delivery, delivery and delivery.”

Public speaking instructors, myself included, beg to differ. It is not advisable to rely on your ability to “baffle with your bull@#$%,” or rely on your "gift of gab." Having said that, we can all think of scenarios in which we, as audience members, were lulled to sleep by speakers whose messages likely deserved a fair hearing. So what happened? What follows are some possible explanations, and some solutions regarding what we as speakers and as listeners can do to increase the chances that our messages will be heard. And guess what. A number of them rely upon "delivery, delivery, and delivery."

More About Public Speaking and Nonverbal Communication
This brings us back to our friend Gorgias. Presumably, it is our hope that our audience members will select to pay attention to our speeches and to recall the basic information, therein. Therefore, it is necessary that we attend to some basics of effective speech delivery in addition to those already covered in previous posts. This and upcoming posts will focus on some rules to assist the novice speaker in practicing and habituating effective delivery skills.

Rule #1: Avoid unnecessarily distracting your audience
Problem: Verbal Filler (“uh, uh, like, you know, ummmmmm”).
Solution: Silence. Really. Habituate forcing yourself to pause when you are tempted to use verbal fillers of this type. Give yourself time to think of the next right word or phrase choice. I promise you, the delay will generally feel longer to you than it will to your audience. Besides, if you have practiced at least three times (once in your mind, once aloud alone, and once aloud with at least one audience member), you may even know in advance where your trouble spots tend to be. If this is the case, you can write suggested wording in the margins of your Performance Outline. Take a breath. Say a prayer. Recite a mantra in your mind. Or bypass it by accessing the same information via a different choice of words: “let me describe what I am talking about. . . .”

Not surprisingly, a major cause of verbal filler/stumbling is fear. Many people are afraid of stumbling, which, of course, contributes greatly to the likelihood that they will, indeed, stumble. To ward off fear of forgetting precise source citation information and statistical or definitional detail, I always recommend, as public speaking textbook author Lori Haleta suggests, using a separate notecard from the Performance Outline for such materials.

And if you catch yourself using a few verbal fillers, try to avoid calling attention to them. Forgive yourself and move on. Why? Two reasons: 1) As an old deodorant commercial charged us to do, we must, "Never let 'em see (us) sweat" . . . at least about sweating. and 2) Showing fear is not public speaking "suicide," as some may believe it is.

Never let 'em see you sweat?
You may have heard the sage advice to "Fake it 'til you make it." This means that you walk through the prescribed motions of creating and delivering a successful public speech whether you believe or have, as yet, experienced, their ability to lead you to success. This idea of walking through one's fear reminds me of the cover story of this month's issue of Time magazine. The article cites eight lessons we can learn from Nelson Mandela's leadership, the first of which is that "Courage is not the absence of fear--it's inspiring others to move beyond it." Beautifully put. The article goes on to quote Mandela as having told his biographer, "'Of course I was afraid' . . . but as a leader, you cannot let people know. 'You must put on a front."

In the realm of public speaking, this means no "fishing for sympathy," (one of my worst pet peeves as a public speaking instructor) by telling your audience, "I am really scared," or worse, "I'm not very prepared for this, but . . ."

Visible fear is not the end of the world
I tell my students: a) Most people are really self centerd. If you do not point out your fears or your mistakes, they are highly unlikely to notice, and b) If you keep working forward into the speech, your nervousness may diminish, and c) Fear of fear is unfounded. If audience members do notice your fear, there are ways that it can actually work in your favor. On the flip side of the "No Fear" strategy is an interesting communication theory twist on how visible fears might help the audience identify with the speaker, leading them to have greater liking for him or her. You see, in order to obtain credibility, we do not always need to put on a mask of omnipotence with our audiences, never apologizing or appearing weak. Yes, in my experience, it is absolutely true that we are most effective when we refuse to "lead with the chin," calling attention to our deficits! Having said that, no one will be more sympathetic/empathetic with a fearful speaker than an audience full of them!

Channel Effects--"The Other Nonverbal"

2008-07-09T08:42:00.001-07:00

Information Overload and Selectivity Theory
We are exposed to more persuasive messages in a single year than members of our grandparents’ generation saw or heard in their entire lifetimes. For this reason, it is not only probable, but absolutely necessary that each of us is both consciously and unconsciously selective about the communication to which we pay attention, much less that which we recall. Communication scholarship calls this idea “Selectivity,” dubbing its various components as “Selective Attention,” “Selective Perception” and “Selective Retention.” In other words, we only pay attention to some of the barrage of stimuli with which we are presented on a daily basis. Do you recall the advertisements on the last webpage you viewed? The words on the last t-shirt or ballcap you saw? What your mother said on the telephone last night? If not, this information was not “selected” as important. What about the speeches from your high school speech class? Do you recall the topics, much less the specific content? Surely, you may say, I am not supposed to actually remember that stuff, right? Well, assuming that you are correct, then what is the purpose of public speaking as a form of communication? Why don’t we just email everything?
Good question. I’m glad you asked. Why don’t we just text or IM? Ever get a "Dear John" via voicemail? Or an email letting you know of someone's death? What do you think about Radio Shack’s recent use of email to lay off 400 employees? http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D8JQV30O1&show_article=1

The channel or medium of communication we choose provides yet another confirmation that "You cannot not communicate." Consider the pros and cons of various media for different types of messages, and you may find that you, too, have been guilty of appearing overly cavalier in your channel choice. Communication scholar Marshall McLuhan said, “The medium is the message.” This means that the invention of each new form of communication technology--from the Guttenberg Galaxy to the telegraph, telephone, radio, TV, and the internet--has drastically altered the communication of the era, and everyone thereafter. In the modern workplace, and in the halls of the academy, cell phones, blackberries, power point presentations, ipods, laptops equipped with wireless internet, text messages and emails overwhelm the airwaves, communicating with previously undreamed of frequency and speed. But the question is, just because we have this new technology, does that mean we should always use it?
Are we guilty of using technology for technologies’ sake, oblivious to the messages our channel choices send about us and our relationships with those to whom we send them? Like Napolean Dynamite’s borther Kip, “I still love technology.” I just know the power of a face-to-face conversation and a firm handshake, a paper thank you note with a snail-mail stamp on it, and a good old-fashioned speech that relies on something deeper than a bunch of colorful slides. I have also witnessed and experienced the dark side of technology as a communication modality, sending embarrassing emails to unintended recipients, and showing power point slides with credibility-crushing misspellings.
Some people will tell you, “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.” Yes and no. The heart of McLuhan’s message is that what you say is sometimes in how you say it. An old Hallmark card commercial used to say, “When you care enough to send the very best.” Do I communicate much caring when I email rather than walking 10 paces to a colleague’s office door? Or when I have to look up my Mom’s telephone number on my cell phone? Technology is fun. It’s sexy. Let’s just keep sight of eachother. Effective leaders know that interoffice emails cannot communicate nonverbal information, and emoticons are no substitute for genuine emotional connection.

Nonverbal/nonvocal Communication

2008-07-09T06:39:00.000-07:00

The last section discussed vocal nonverbals, but when most people hear the term "nonverbal communication," they tend to think about "body language," or what we look like when we communicate. Studies show that about 70 percent of communication is nonverbal and nonvcommunication of this type (Mehrabian and Weiner, 1967). Nonverbnal/nonvocal communication can occur in several distinct categories, but I will work to hit the highlights that will provide the greatest benefit for the public speaker. Be aware, however, that literally volumes of information exist on each of these topics for the interested scholar who wishes for further insights.

Kinesics
The largest message-type category of nonverbal communication is known as kinesics. If you have ever heard the term “telekinesis,” you likely know that it refers to one’s ability to move objects without touching them. Good news! You do not need to possess that skill. Not literally, anyway. Effective public speakers/leaders, do, however, know how to move their own bodies in the ways that enhance their credibility via others’ perceptions of their skill, integrity, or kindness. In so doing, perhaps they motivate others to move the objects they want moved for them, which may be nearly as impressive as any form of Extra Sensory Perception!
Kinesics is what is commonly referred to as “body language,” and it includes hand gestures and bodily movement, facial expressions and eye behavior. The credible speaker knows that one’s behaviors in each of these areas necessarily differ, dependent upon context.
Gestures
While speaking in front of a large crowd, for instance, you might gesture more largely than when having an intimate discussion with an individual conversational partner. Imagine standing a mere foot away when someone talking with you begins large hand gestures! Would you be a bit frightened? Might you believe the person is angry, or at least acting inappropriately? Would you be afraid of negative attention being drawn to the conversation, perhaps even reflecting negatively on you?
Another vital consideration is “over-gesturing.” If every statement deserves a gesture, then none do. I, personally, have to work to discipline my gestures and movement, in order to avoid distracting my audience, or appearing “flighty.” Enthusiasm and charisma are tremendous assets, but our credibility is in constant tension between these characteristics and their counterparts, competence and trustworthiness. Too much display of enthusiasm may lead some to believe that we are “all talk and no action.”
In the 1800's, a group of scholars now known as "The Elocutionary Movement" actually attempted to catalog hundreds of genstures and to teach their students precisely which gestures should be utilized to support certain ideas, or invoke particular emotions. They even built huge wooden cages, and tied ropes to the extremities of the students inside, pulling various ropes this way and that from outside of the cages in order to "puppet" the students so that they could learn these gestures! Thank goodness times have changed. Today, communication scholars know that effective gesturing is not nearly so complex. I advise practicing in front of a mirror, and when I lecture about this idea, I "draw" a giant mirror in the air with my hands
Facial Expression
Another important area of kinesics is that of facial expression. Literally hundreds of facial expressions have been coded and categorized by nonverbal scholars. An effective public spaker must memorize every one of them. Just kidding. He must, however, optimize his ability, as Riggio’s (1986) theory of Social Skill suggests, to encode and control his own facial expressions appropriately, and to decode the expressions of others accurately.
According to the text, “Nonverbal Communication: The Unspoken Dialogue (Burgoon, Bullard, & Woodall, 1989), communication theorists scholars theorize, that humans, as infants, actually learn which faces “fit” with which emotions through a process known as intermodal matching. In this process, a baby observes the facial expressions of her parents and/or caregivers, and then practices the facial expressions, observing how the expressions make her feel in order to “catalog” her own understanding of the proper use of expression for future use. Interesting that the theory says we make the face first and the feeling follows, rather than the other way around. Biologists claim that smiling actually releases feel-good hormones. As I mentioned in an earlier post, in fact, a leadership hint suggested by a Dallas professional consultant was to “smile with your teeth showing.” Allowing ourselves to fully commit to a facial expression gives it a great deal more power, especially when the expression is such an important one at enhancing others’ evaluations of our credibility and warmth. Perhaps if the biologists are right, our own enhanced positive feelings might also contribute to our effectiveness, as well.
Also of interest are those unfortunate individuals who have an angry-looking “default face.” The default face is my term for the face each person makes when feeling no particular emotion—it might also be referred to as a “reset” or “resting face.” It is a rare person, indeed, who is truly even aware that the default face exists, much less what his or hers looks like. It is quite a challenge to accurately decode the facial expression of someone who always looks angry. How might this mis-encoded facial expression and people’s standard interpretation of a frown harm one’s effectiveness at obtaining and performing leadership roles? Your grandmother was right. Your face will stay that way. So uncross your eyes and read on.
Eye contact
Speaking of eye behavior, like the vocalic communication discussed above, it necessarily varies from context-to-context, as well. A public speaker is best off to avoid the traditional advice of looking over audience members’ heads. For one reason, people can tell when you actually look them in the eye, and it attracts their eyes to naturally meet with yours, enhancing not only your credibility, but your interactional ability, and, therefore, your enjoyment (yes, I said enjoyment) of your speaking experience. While not all good leaders adore public speaking, many of them have a healthy respect and understanding of the principles necessary to deliver a successful speech. One of the greatest is to be engaging, and this cannot occur without eye contact. For that reason, manuscripted speech delivery is of limited value to the truly excellent leader UNLESS he has developed the amazingly difficult skill of reading from a manuscript, while sounding truly natural. Watch the news. One key distinction between a good anchor and a great anchor is that, despite the fact that they are all reading from tele-prompters, the seasoned pro neither looks nor sounds as if he is being literally spoon fed most every word. Yet he is. Other professionals, say politicians or the CEO’s from major corporations, have an added challenge—nearly every word they utter is recorded and public. One slip up or poor wording choice can equate to political suicide, or at least to decreased political efficacy. For the rest of us, however, speaking from extremely limited notes is generally recommended. Prepare. Practice. Then you are free to look at your audience and engage them fully.
Effective speaker/leaders also know and respect the reality that eye contact expectations, as with all forms of nonverbal communication, differ from one culture to another. According to the classic intercultural communication text “Communicating with Strangers: An Approach to Intercultural Communication” by William Gudykunst and Young Yun Kim "we communicate the way we do because we are raised in a particular culture and learn its language, rules, and norms."[p. 430] Different cultures (and subcultures) may have different rules and norms. Effective leaders They are able to adapt not only their own behavior, but their expectation of others’ based upon this knowledge. An excellent reference for knowledge of the communication in other cultures can be obtained from the text, “Kiss, Bow, or Shake Hands: The Bestselling guide to How to do Business in More than 60 countries” (Morrison & Conaway, 2006). Nonverbal scholarship finds that Western societies such as the U.S. and many European countries uphold the person who gives and receives a large amount of eye contact as a respected and credible individual. Eastern (e.g., Asian) and Native American cultures, however, interpret too much eye contact as a signal of disrespect for a person of authority, or a sign of a failure to listen—if the eyes are used extensively, how can the ears be expected to work to their full potential? Even among non-native North Americans, a difference exists between the eye contact usage of those of European and those of African descent. Communication research has shown that, similar to Asian peoples, Black people show respect more often by avoiding eye contact, whereas Caucasians tend to show respect by giving it. “Look at me when I talk to you!” If this sounds familiar, you might consider the ethnic background of the person saying it and the person to whom it was said. Also consider, was it a line delivered by a Black man on a television show that may have been written by a white screenwriter?
A humorous examination of eye contact and gender was portrayed on the popular television series “The Simpsons” when Homer Simpson was holding a conversation with a Simpsonized cartoon version of sexy television icon Carmen Electra. “Homer, my eyes are up here.” Homer, unmoving, replies, “I’ve made my choice.” It is funny, yes. But no. An excellent leader can apply what the Drucker Foundation’s text “The Leader of the Future” calls “self-leadership.” Some would call it discipline.
Eye contact is, indeed, a discipline. It takes practice, even for the confident speaker/leader. An excellent piece of advice far superior to the “look over their heads” (and not nearly as frightening as the “picture them naked”) advice: just look your audience members in the eye. Talk to them like you would to a friend over coffee. If you are in close proximity to your conversational partner, you may feel as though you are shifty, looking first in one eye, then the next. Try this simple exercise and see whether the following advice helps you as it has me. Stand approximately two feet from, and facing, another person. Look them in one eye. Ask them if they can tell. Now try looking at the spot in the center of the triangle formed between their two eyes and their nose. Also undetectable, and vastly more comfortable.

So how do you habituate all of these hints? Start with one, maybe two of them, and a) commit them to memory, and b) commit them to action. As you enjoy the enhanced confidence and sense the increase in others' assessments of your credibility, you will want to read and reread this post so that you can incorporate more of these "communication optimizers" into your own "rhetorical toolbox."

Paralanguage (Vocal Communication)

2008-07-09T06:11:00.000-07:00

Vocal communication? Verbal communication? What's the difference? Well for our purposes, let's call verbal communication the overall heading for spoken communication, and vocal communication as the elements of rate, pitch, volume . . . everything about the voice except for the words it speaks.

Vocal communication is a special form of nonverbal, also known as paralanguage (or “beyond language”, in the same way as you X-files and Ghost Hunter fans know that paranormal means “beyond normal.”). This form of communication is also called “vocalics” and, as mentioned above, includes rate, pitch, volume, tone of voice, and modulation or vocal variety. Most effective leaders know that the modulation of all of the other characteristics is what can make them sound charismatic when necessary, and low-key when that mood is more apropos. I am sure it is not hard for you to envision your instructor saying, “You did a great job on the exam.” Yet, how many meanings might this simple sentence take on when stated using different vocalic patterns? Even if the vocal channel is the only one present, as on the telephone, or on an audio recording, a congratulatory meaning or a sarcastic meaning might be derived. Can you deliver that sentence as if you are sad about the message? Angry? Of course!
Imagine your employer coming to you and saying, “Great job.” If he is being sarcastic and you cannot tell, it may be due to his lack of skill, or your own, but the end result is the same—you continue working in the same way you have been working, and continue achieving results he finds unsatisfactory.

Consider the vocalic communication in your public speeches. One of the most vital elements of public speaking success is engaging one's audience, wouldn't you agree? After all, if the audience is not listening, then what is our purpose? But have you ever sat in an audience for a speaker who made the unfortunate choice of reading his or her "talk?" Just listen to the local newscasters and see what a difference it makes when someone sounds like they are reading from a manuscript vs. someone who (although he or she may be equally or even more prepared) sounds natural. For this reason, it is optimal for you to master the skill of "extemporaneous speaking." Now if you knew the speech team in high school, you may think of the competitive event called "Extemp," but set that meaning aside. This is something different.

There are three, at most four, major methods of delivering a public speech:
1) Impromptu: During a business meetng, your boss asks you to report on the conference you just attended. You are prepared, because you were at the conference, but you did not expect to speak about it, and, therefore, did not do additional research or prepare notes.
2) Manuscripted: Prior to the business meeting, your boss warned you that she would be asking for this report, so you wrote out every word you were planning to say. (this could also lead into Memorized delivery, wherein you commit to memory the words you have planned, so that you can look at your audience and have your hands free).
3) Extemporaneous: Extemporaneous delivery is the best of both worlds. You prepare, but your notes are highly limited, and generally in outline form. Therefore, not only are you more confident since you have some notes, but you are also free to be conversational and interactive with your audience, since you are not confined to the precise wording of a manuscript.

Another important aspect of vocal communication is exuding confidence without coming off as arrogant. Communicators in the northern midwest, especially females, tend to end statements with the same pitch change as they might use to end a question. This is known as uptalk, and it is a habit that speakers must overcome if they are to sound strong and confident. Consider this: when asked to introduce yourself in front of a group of people, which of these sounds more like the way that you sound? a) Hi, my name is Karla? or b) Hi, my name is Karla. You might be surprised at how many people sound like option a. How does one overcome this obstacle to credibility? Well, according to "7 habits" guru and one of my favorite people to quote, Stephen Covey, it takes 21 days to form a habit. So over the next 21 days, challenge yourself. LISTEN TO YOURSELF when you speak to others. If you catch yourself ending statements like questions, stop and force yourself to use a downward pitch change, instead. But try not to correct the multitude of other people you will now catch using uptalk--I'd like for you to have friends.

So how do we avoid sounding arrogant? Well, one way is to SLOW DOWN. Believe it or not, even though it is truly a sign of nervousness for most of us, speaking too quickly can be construed as a sign that we think we are "all that." One way to slow down is to buy your own stopwatch. Throw out those ineffective notions that the timing of your speech is someone else's job. Now actually pay attention to where you are in your speech at particular points in time. I actually make notes in the margins of my "Performance Outlines," to keep my timing on track, and to help me avoid going to fast. Be careful, though, timing requires a balance. Few things torture an audience more severly than trying to listen to a speaker who is too slow. This often happens when the assignment calls for extemporaneous delivery and an overly cocky student attempts to do so without the benefit of sufficient practice. AARGH! It pains me to even call to mind some of the discomfort I have watched as an unprepared student has attempted to take the podium. Don't let this happen to you.

Speaking vs. Writing: Nonverbal Communication in Public Speaking

2008-07-09T05:37:00.000-07:00

"You Cannot Not Communicate" --This idea, expressed in the initial post of this blog, may just be the very foundationstone for the study of the art and science that is public speaking. I call it an art because, let's face it, it seems that some people are born with "the gift of gab," although that does not necessarily make them competent speakers. What might interest you most as a scholar of public speaking is the fact that there is so much "science" to it. This is good news! It means that you do not need to feel confined by your known natural proclivities and limitations. You can, in fact, learn and practice a number of tactics to aid you on your journey toward becoming a better speaker.

One of these tactics is to enhance your use of nonverbal communication. In the written word, your words are your tools. As anyone whose emails, IM's or texts have ever been misconstrued can attest, however, even the written word leaves room for interpretation. When we translate our thoughts and words into verbal communication, as in a public speech, a host of possible interpretations ensues, because suddenly we have added vocal and visual communication to the mix. The good news: all of these additional cues can diminish the likelihood that we will be misunderstood. The bad news: all of these additional cues can diminish the likelihood that we will be understood. Therefore, in order to become the most competent and confident speaker that you can, it is imperative that you consider your own "Nonverbal Communication."

According to classic nonverbal communication scholarship such as that by Mehrabian and Wiener (1967) verbal communication might only account for 7 percent of all communication in any given interaction! The remainding meaning is derived from nonverbal communication. Granted, another nonverbal scholar, Birdwhistell (1955) found about 40 percent of meaning was derived from verbal communication. Why the huge difference between the findings of these two scholars? It may be due to the fact that Mehrabian’s studies were only of the meaning contained in a single-word sentence: “Maybe.”

Still, whether nonverbal accounts for 60% of meaning, or whether it accounts for a whopping 93%, we must acknowledge the fact that it is a vital aspect of public speaking. As public speakers, and as leaders, nonverbal communication is vital for two reasons: 1) The nonverbal behaviors of our audience can tell us whether we are loud enough, and whether or not our message is being understood and accepted. 2) We need to ensure that our own nonverbal behaviors fortify our credibility through supporting our verbal messages and exuding a balance of strength with warmth, and integrity.

We all know that good leaders must “say what they mean and mean what they say” with our words, but are our actions supporting or detracting from our intended meanings? It is vital for leaders send unified, consistent messages. One of the most difficult characteristics for followers to respect is inconsistency. If you have never given a great deal of thought to your own nonverbal communication, this does not necessarily indicate that you are doing a poor job of leading. Having said that, however, it is only by regular examination of a balanced and accurate picture of one’s own behaviors that he or she can continue to work toward becoming optimal leaders.

You may already be a good leader. If that is the case, then your challenge is thus: “The good is the enemy of the best.” Are you the best leader you can be? Of course not. None of us is. If you are ready to take on the challenge of continual striving toward optimal leadership, then it may be time for you to begin taking a regular “inventory” of your own nonverbal communication, by taking stock of your own patterns in several key nonverbal areas, which are laid out in the next entries of this blog.

Nonverbal communication includes vocal communication, kinesics, haptics, personal space and territory, olfactics, chronemics, artifacts, and channel effects. Each of these elements (granted some more than others) come into play when we translate our ideas on paper into verbal communication; therefore, each of these sections will be covered in an upcoming post on this blog.

Time in a Bottle

2008-07-01T23:30:00.000-07:00

A hauntingly melancholy, though lovely, melody. Time in a bottle. Jim Croce, wasn't it? "If I could save time in a bottle . . ." Well, I don't claim that I can, but I have been heartened recently by something I just read--an enlightening and inspiring newsletter article by Steve Harvill of Creative Ventures consultants in Dallas, TX, someone I am honored to call a "mentor." The article is about overcoming the myth of "time management," and the burdens accompanying that myth. This theme resonated with my own beliefs--beliefs that contribute to a growing sense of peace and prosperity for me.

You see, I, not unlike you, am a wearer of multiple "hats,"-job/career/business/community, spouse/parent/child/sibling/friend. So with all of these hats to wear, how does one "do it all?" Well, for starters, "one," or at least this "one," does not.

The point is that we all make choices. I was once told that life is a juggling act. The trick, however, is not to avoid dropping any of the balls, but to figure out which of the balls are made of rubber, and which are made of glass. The answer may change from day to day! And it certainly varies from one person to the next. Deep, huh? Yet life-changing for many of us who need reminders to drop a few of those (less vital) rubber balls from time-to-time.

Back to the article that spurred this topic. It is entitled "Architects of our Time," aa lind it relates to a little-discussed area of communication known as Chronemics, the communication which results from our use of time. Author Harvill states that good leaders are "masters of their time," acting, much like the architect, as the creator of their time. Poorer leaders, on the other hand, are much more inclined to act as "victims of time," complaining that there is never enough of it, or that it is not the right kind. The mentality that our time usage is based upon our own choices is both a freeing, and a frightening one. Freeing, in that it opens up a world of possibilities for those willing to try it. Frightening, in that it creates a responsibility to stop making excuses that we simply "did not have time" to accomplish something. Truth be told, we all have the same amount of time in a day. So how that time is utilized is the important distiction between the successful and unsuccessful leader. Harvill points out that "time management" is actually a myth. Strong leaders do not manage time--they manage events! As "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" guru Stephen Covey asserts, successful people know how to put their priorities into action by "putting the big rocks in first." If that advice sounds unfamiliar, yet piques your interest, you can read about its meaning at the following URL: http://www.csub.edu/TLC/options/resources/handouts/teach_strat/putinrocks.html

So how does our use of time impact our communication? Well, consider what is communicated when we accuse the very concept of time of failing to enable us to complete particular projects or meet certain deadlines --projects and deadlines which, mind you, we claimed held priority for us? The sad truth is that this weak and, therefore, weakening, form of communication can lead to a "self-fulfilling prophecy," in which the "victim" of time actually creates his or her reality where time is scarce, rather than simply available to use and abuse as we choose.

So what is the solution? How does one take the hands of the clock and stroll into blissful accomplishment? Well, that may be going a bit far, but one can make a few small changes in, for instance, the way one talks about and refers to time. Such changes can be life altering!

Tip #1: Start next time you feel the pinch of an upcoming deadline, and change your self talk. Blame your sudden odd behavior on me--better yet, try to prove me wrong! Repeat the mantra, "The world is my oyster, and time is on my side." If you are saying the affirmation silently, it's best to do so with the first phrase on a SLOW inward breath, and the second phrase on a SLOW exhale. Practice the inward breath so that it is through the nose only--mouth closed. Try to make the inhalation sound more like the ocean than like a sniff. Picture the breath hitting the back of your throat without stopping in the nose at all. The exhale can either be the opposite motion, or it can be out through the mouth on a "shhhhhhhhh" or "phhhhhhhhh."

Perhaps more powerful is saying the affirmation aloud! I know, it sounds scary. Well, perhaps you might wish to be alone. Thank goodness for Bluetooth technology--you can affirm yourself aloud all day long in your car, and no one will be the wiser!

Tip #2: A second, very practical tip--STOP saying things that simply aren't true. You DO HAVE time, you just may have chosen to use it for other purposes. Were those purposes higher on your priority list? If so, you may get to let yourself off the hook a bit and drop some of those rubber balls--they will bounce. If not, well, only you can decide whether to put your actions where your priorities are.

If we are, indeed, as Harvill claims, the "architects of our time," that means that we have designed our past, whether purposefully or by default. If it has not been what we intended, fine. Move forward with the intent to design the present and future more purposefully. Say (silently or aloud), "I forgive myself for missing the mark toward achieving my priorities. I now choose to prioritize my time."

Tip #3: Write down your designs. Can you imagine an architect communicating to a builder without a written document? You may attempt to argue that, in this case, the architect metaphor breaks down. I beg to differ. If you know anyone who has both designed and built their own home, find out whether he or she created blueprints, regardless. Now consider their outcome in light of their response.

Well, I must admit, this post is, perhaps, heavily focused on "intrapersonal communication" (communication with self), but as Stephen Covey reminds us, every public victory must begin with a private victory. Hmmm. "Victor" vs. "victim." An interesting contrast. Which do I choose to be today?

Beware of Books!

2008-02-12T10:52:00.001-08:00

Stephen Covey calls his 7th Habit of Highly Effective People, "Sharpening the Saw." As a teacher of public speaking for the past 16 years, I find that I have to embrace every opportunity to sharpen my own speaking skills, in order to stay sharp for my students, and offer them "cutting edge" advice. In so doing, I had the best time last weekend presenting an original analysis entitled, "Burnt Offerings: Sin, Suffering, Sacrifice, and Salvation in Fahrenheit 451." The talk was a part of the "Big Read" project, sponsored by the South Dakota Humanities Council through a grant initiative of the National Endownment for the Arts. The goal of the project is to bring reading back to the forefront of American culture.

In my presentation, I had a chance to discuss Bradbury's classic work, written in 1953, and it's prophetic allegory of today's "Mediocracy" (Media Democracy), mollifying the masses with monopolized media machines. My favorite, and most surprising, point of the presentation, came when I experienced the delight of my audience as I read one of my "academic poems" aloud. Several people have since asked me to share it. I call it "Harry Potter and the Grand Canyon Bookstore" and its text appears below:

“Beware of Books!” the headlines read.
“They put ideas in your head.
A book can jump off of the shelf,
and take you right out of yourself.
You can’t explain the newfound facts,
the thoughts you’ll think,
the ways you’ll act.
So please just leave those books alone.
Stay here with us. Become a drone.”
–Original “Academic Poem”, Karla M. Hunter

I was flattered when a colleague of mine compared the rhyme and meter to that of Dr. Seuss--my hero! In fact, few people know the political symbolism of Theodore Geisel's (Seuss's) writings. "Whorton Hears a Who," soon to be released as a major motion picture, is actually about isolationism, and Geisel's concern for the post-Hiroshima/Nagasaki Japanese. He believed that, as Whorton so eloquently states repeatedly in the text, "a person's a person, no matter how small." He used his rhymes in the hopes of urging readers to help those in need, by emphasizing their similarity, their human-ness.

I actually had the opportunity to study the impact of rhyme on persuasion last year, when I created text messages in rhyming and non-rhyming versions of the same persuasive messsage and divided members of one of my classes equally among which members read which versions. Overwhelmingly, (about 75%, versus about 25%), the students who read the same content in rhyming messages believed and/or agreed with the messages more than those who read the non-rhyming versions!

Take note of the power-potential of rhyme!
Need further evidence?
Try it sometime = )

Karla

Fear of Public Speaking?

2008-01-30T20:17:00.000-08:00

My students and I have been talking a great deal lately about the fear of public speaking. I have read that many people fear it more than snakes, airplanes, or even "Snakes on a Plane!" Having taught Public Speaking for over 16 years myself, I can honestly say that I still get some of what I choose to call "nervous energy" before I speak. Luckily for me, nothing cements information into one's mind like teaching it! So I have an entire box of tools to share regarding overcoming one's fears in this and other areas. I look forward to sharing those tools via this blog.

As a "weekend" Communication Consultant, I thoroughly enjoy giving academic and private-sector workshops on "Overcoming CA (Communication Apprehension)," and "Building Self Esteem," as well as motivational speeches like "Empowerment Through Service."

Some of the best experience I have to share with a nervous speaker?

1) Water the roots, not the lemons.
OK, what the heck does that mean? If you have a lemon tree, and your lemons are drying out, do you water the lemons? Of course not. Well, self-confidence is much the same--your greatest benefit will be obtained from nurturing the root of your self-esteeem, rather than trying to focus so much on confidence in public speaking.

I recommend my students start with something like shaking hands with every new person they meet. No "dead fish," and no "knuckle-busters." A firm, but loose grip is best.

I also recommend smiling--with the teeth showing. It is amazing how smiling actually improves one's attitude and confidence. Don't believe me? Check out the evolutionary concept of intermodal matching. It says that, as infants, we learn which facial expressions accompany different emotions by mimicking the expressions given by our caregivers, and then examining how those expressions make us feel! Of course, biofeedback evidence abounds for the fact that endorphins are released when we smile. Actually, other endorphin releasing activities can also boost one's confidence, by lifting overall mood (small amounts of dark chocolate and regular exercise can do wonders!)

I also charge my students with the challenge to avoid all negative self-talk. Americans are addicted to being right, and can you guess the easiest way to ensure one's being right? Predicting one's own failure. Why? Because we can make ourselves fail. Have you ever said something like, "I hate public speaking," "I am so afraid," or "I'm not good at that"? Take a risk. Predict success. Or at least stop predicting failure. You may have a different audience each time you say something negative against yourself or your performance, but one person hears it every time. You.

Consider correcting yourself when you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk. Stop yourself, and say something like, "Actually, I have historically thought that was true, but I read this awesome blog that has really opened my eyes" . . . = )

2) The second piece of experience that has helped my charges the most? Focus on Service.
If I am thinking about you, I cannot be thinking about me. Topic choice? Focus on what will help the audience. Sources? What will most benefit the audience? Attention-getter? What will hook this particular audience? A powerful piece of advice from sage public speaking textbook author Stephen Beebe says, "Let the audience write the speech." Of course, wouldn't it be nice if he meant that literally? What he means, of course, is that every element of the speech is optimized by a focus on the audience. Holding these thoughts can help the nervous speaker harness his or her fear and channel it into energy. These thoughts, then, can supplant the old ways of thinking like, "I hope I don't burp after drinking that Dr. Pepper,"I am so nervous?" "Is my fly open," or the ever-popular, "Does this speech make my butt look big?"

3) Learn more about the normalcy of the fear of public speaking, and about its very normal origins that have led to some very misunderstood physical reactions.
As stated earlier, this is often considered the #1 fear in American society. Could hearing that statistic actually tell us to be afraid? What if the statistic said that public speaking was America's favorite pass-time, and that baseball was our #1 fear? Ever hear of the nocebo effect? Turns out that cancer patients who are told they are given chemo, but are actually given placebo-chemo will lose their hair as if they were administered the real thing. There is at least one documented case of a man who died from cancer that he did not have (see Discovery Channel special, "The Placebo Effect." Fascinating. Brings a whole new light to the statement that, "The only thing we have to fear is fear, itself." I use a statistical instrument called the PRPSA (Personal Report of Public Speaking Anxiety--the 34-item test and its scoring method can be found via google, in case you are interested) to test the beginning (time 1), middle (time 2) and ending (time 3) levels of Communication Apprehension in my speech students. Many are surprised at their dramatic drop in score from time 2 to time 3. Last semester, I had one student drop over 30 points on this 136-point measure! Guess why her jump was so impressive. Because an indepth analysis of her questionairre showed that the items she scored high on were all of the items about anticipating giving a speech, rather than those assessing nervousness during or after a speech. In other words, she was afraid of being afraid.

In class, we also focus a great deal on the evolutionary view of this type of fear. You may be saying, "Oh great, a Darwinist. I suppose she has one of those skeletal plastic fish with the legs on it on the back of her car." Well I can promise you that, as one who attempts to hold a truly open mind, I fail to see how evolutionism and creationism are mutually exclusive. That may mean I am in both camps, or it may mean I am in neither. If this bothers you, I hope you will consider keeping the baby and throwing out only the bathwater. (I teach at a Christian University, so I give this disclaimer often. Can you tell?). Having said that . . .

Picture cavepeople. Not those dressed up Geigo guys, but actual non-speaking, no locks on the doors, saber-tooth-tiger-outside-the-cave-type cavepeople. Their fears are of physical dangers. Someone or something might steal their food or harm them or their loved ones. Their options to escape these dangers when they arise: fight or flee (hence the popularly touted, little fully discussed "fight or flight response."). Their bodies react to make them stronger, more attentive and faster. Eyes widen in surprise: this allows them to take in more of the scene. Extremities shake and they may sweat, because both blood and adrenaline are pumping to all the right places to help them run or hit, as needed. These are wonderful built-in defense mechanisms. And by fighting or fleeing the source of danger, we "burn off" the adrenaline and other built-up physical responses to fear.

The problem is that our bodies have carried with them down through the ages this stone-age computer program, and no one has deleted it from our collective (sub) consciousness. Therefore, today, when we are afriad, even though our fears may be social (e.g., your boss asks you to speak about what you learned at last week's conference. At the weekly business meeting. In front of 12 people. In 5 minutes.). Your eyes widen, your cardiovascular system and adrenal glands begin working overtime. You may perspire. Well, you can't punch your boss in the face and run out of the room. Not if you wish to maintain employment, that is. So what do you do.? You work on reprogramming. Channel that energy, and remember to call it "energy." It is there to serve you, not to harm you. Use it to be enthusiastic and engaging. Gesture, and use disciplined movement and visual aids to "burn up" some of that energy.

4) And finally, forget that old advice about looking over people's heads. Look us in the eye. And I do mean "eye." Looking in both eyes at once can feel awkward, so pick an eye, any eye. I promise, no one can tell. Try it. The awsome thing about giving eye contact is that it can act as a magnet, attracting the eyes (and hence, a greater level of attention from) your audience. You can feel when someone is looking at you. Try it. Look at a random stranger in the mall. She or he will turn and "catch" you pretty quickly. Any further actions on your part are your responsibility not mine--look away, or go introduce yourself. That's up to you.

Well, folks, there you have it, in a nutshell. My $.02 about the fear of speaking in public, and my experience about what has helped me and hundreds of frightened students to overcome and harness their fears. I actually do have one more piece of advice: Speak!!! In the communication field, we call it systematic desensitization. It means that the more you speak in public, the less sensitive to it you become. Start small. And from the heart. All the rest can fall into place.
Karla

You cannot not communicate

2007-12-13T12:30:00.000-08:00

You cannot not communicate. At least that's true according to Communication Scholars Watzlawick, Beavin and Jackson (1967). In the electronic era of today, this foundational academic communication concept grasps hold of our lives in an even more dramatic fashion than it did when it was penned. What it means in the Communication Discipline is that, when in the presence of another human being, everything about us communicates something.

Our skin color, our hair, and everything we wear. . .
our mannerisms, words and deeds;
how we follow, how we lead . . .
presence, absence, frame of mind;
tone that's neutral, tone that's kind. . .
my words my deeds illuminate--
I cannot not communicate.
(original "academic poem", KMH 12/13/07)

Put simply, as a great man once said, "Your actions speak so loud, I can't hear a word you're sayin'." (Norm Alpi)

Today, however, this concept seems a bit more literal in its meaning. As, for good or for ill, I join the seemingly endless procession of bloggers, I see that even the spoken, written, blogged, texted or IM'd word is expected of us to a far heightened extent than it was of the members of any previous generation. My name is Karla M. (Larson) Hunter, and I am an Assistant Professor of Communication at Dakota Wesleyan University in Mitchell, SD, an independent Communication Consultant, an author (of both academic and creative works) and the mother of three. In addition to the communication channels my grandparents had, I have two cell phones, A PDO, three email addresses, and now a blog. It would seem that I cannot not communicate. Literally.

What this means for me is that I now have a forum for my theories, research and experience in the communication discipline. What it means for you, the reader, is that you now have free access to regular posts that disseminate information and examples from within the academic study of communication that is taught in my college-level courses and publications. May you find it useful.

Sincerely,
KMH